Letting go of William Walker
by samanthasays
Summary: The Walkers, one by one begin to let go of William Walker. Although it's been a few years this story focus' on them and their stuggles to relieve all the secrets and lies.


Dear William,

If I could say a few words to you today, I'd know just what to say. I wouldn't hide back those tears I so

longed to pour out when you were still alive. It isn't fair, ya know. To leave us behind to find all of your

life was a lie. You tricked this family and most of all you tricked me. I was foolish, but I will never be

again. I am stronger now because of you; and for that, William Walker, I am thankful to you. My children

mean more to me than anything now than ever and I will cherish the breakdowns, moments, and truths

with this family. We are the honest, loving and sometimes crazy Walker family and we are so much

better without you.

Nora studied her written words on the salmon colored envelope. She hadn't much use for the envelopes

anymore, because they had consisted as a part of her life when William Walker was still alive. She could

finally fathom her strengths now and her weakness didn't drag her down anymore. She knew she would

never be able to speak those words to William, but just the thought of having them out there satisfied

Nora. She placed the envelope inside a little silver box where she kept her most precious things. She

wasn't completely sure why she had found a place for the envelope in her silver box, but she had a

feeling it was going to mean a lot someday.

"Mom?" Justin made his way down the stair case and into the kitchen. "Mom?" Justin found his mother

staring into a familiar silver box. It was traced with imprinted flowers and no longer than a shoe box. He

stopped in his tracks to assure himself he wasn't interrupting anything too important. "Hey sorry I didn't

put any coffee on, but I went for a run with Rebecca this morning so—"

"It's fine, Justin. I didn't have an urge for coffee this morning anyway." Nora, still looking at the silver

box, placed the matching lid over it and collected her thoughts.

"You didn't?" Justin replied with shock. "You okay mom?" he hesitated.

"Oh yeah! I'm fine." Nora hid the box in an empty drawer. "I've got about a million things to do today

including stopping by Kitty's to help with Evan and—" Before Nora could finish Justin waved his hands in

front of her and snapped.

"Hello? Where is my mother? What just happened there? Do you have some sort of secret?" Justin

contemplated on how his mother would react. It was true, though. She hadn't been herself for days. He

would catch her glimpsing at a picture of William and then place it down to hide his charming and yet

manipulative smile. Justin knew his father had many secrets, but now that he was dead and gone his

mother hadn't hid a single secret. "What's with all of this secrecy?" Justin demanded.

"I've just been—" Tears filled Nora's eyes and Justin wrapped his arms around her shoulders.

"Mom, you know you can tell me anything." Justin displayed an honest face and looked into his

mother's eyes. "What is it?"

"I hate him for making me miss him."

"Mom how could you say that? Do you honestly think things would be better if he were still here today?

You'd still be hiding in his shadow. Look how far you've come now?" Justin's words surprised his mother.

Although he had always been the son to make her feel better, she was still shocked at the knowledge he

had gained since his father's death. She squeezed him and smiled.

"I'll be back before dinner. I'm going to Kitty's." Justin knew she hadn't shrugged off the subject; it was

just her way of shaking things off. He gave her a nod and smiled half heartedly. She grabbed her purse

and keys. She turned her back and stopped. "I love you, Justin."

Without hesitation, "I know." Justin grinned. Nora faced the warm sunshine of Los Angeles, California.

She took a deep breath and smiled. "I don't need you." Nora whispered. Weight was lifted off of her

shoulder in a matter of seconds as she drove out of her driveway.

"Robert, Robert I think you need to call tonight before Evan goes to bed so he can hear your voice!" The

frantic words that seemed so desperate shocked Kitty as she allowed them to escape her mouth. She

held the phone to her hear with her shoulder and used her two hand to change Evan's diaper. Her hair

was scrambled in knots and her clothes reeked of throw up. Bibs and rags draped her body and no trace

of makeup was to be found. In fact no trace of makeup had been found for weeks.

"I'll be home before he goes to bed, Kitty." Kitty rolled her eyes to the back of her head, took a deep

breath and responded.

"Robert, now Robert we both know we're just lying to ourselves. You won't be home before eight

tonight. You're running for Governor for God sakes!" Kitty finally had Evan in a secure place and now

held the phone with one hand and used to other to wipe the sweat from her brow. "It's been two

weeks since you last came home before eight, my dear." Kitty's sarcasm rang through the phone and

caused Robert to react.

"Okay Kitty, you're right, I won't be home. Kevin just reminded me about my dinner plans with the

Senator of Massachusetts!"

"You're going to Massachusetts!"

"No, God No." He's coming here. Listen I've got to go.

"Of course you do." Kitty mumbled and shook her head.

"What?"Robert inquired.

"Oh never mind, just call."

"I'll try."

"Goodbye." Kitty pressed the end button. "Your father's a wonder. Someday you'll know just how much

of a wonder he is. Don't forget how much of a pain in the ass he is." Kitty reached for Evan's fingers.

"Kitty, you sure have a potty mouth." Nora glanced at Evan and traced her way to Kitty.

"Mother? What are you doing here? It's a mess!" Kitty jumped up and started clearing the unfolded

clothes.

"You don't have to change a thing for me, Kitty. If you don't remember, I was a mother once, too." Kitty

sighed and collapsed on the couch. She focused on Evan and listened to mother.

"Now if you must know, I'm here for a reason, as if I have to have one to be here?"

"Never." Kitty assured.

"That's what I thought, anyway, I've been thinking. I think I should take Evan every other day to my

house to—"

"Mother!"

"You haven't even asked."

"Oh Kitty, you know you need it. I mean look at you; not that I care what you look like, but wouldn't you

feel better if you could get ready for the day first?"

"What's the point if I'm just going to get throw up on it anyway?" Kitty gestured.

"That's how I felt for years until William's mother helped me. Trust me, you'll be thanking me later.

Besides, what else does a grandma got to do?" Nora tickled Evan's tiny fingers.

Kitty refrained herself for saying yes. She didn't want to seem too desperate although that's what she

was. How could she hold herself back from what she wanted to say when it was her own mother? She

reminded herself a lot about her own mother; unwilling and stubborn. After a few moments of battling

with herself she belted out. "Yes. Yes, we'll make a schedule. Besides, Evan needs to know his grandma

more." She smiled to make herself believe it was her own idea. What she so badly wanted was Robert to

take a little time out of his schedule to be with Evan. She frowned at the idea of Evan drifting away from

his father.

"So how's Robert?" Great, just what Kitty needed! ; Her mother mentioning Robert on a morning like  
this.  
"Fine." Kitty stumbled over her word and moved onto the desired schedule.

"So I was thinking you could take him every other day to the park and then—"

"Already have an idea do we now? I hadn't even thought of the arrangements. You know Kitty; we could

always be with him together; unless of course you would like me to take him to my place once and a

while. I was thinking more along the lines of helping you out. Being here at your house to cook and clean.

Kitty released her fist she had unconsciously formed.

"Mother, I adore you." Kitty was hoping, at least, that Nora would take Evan for a couple of hours, but

the offer Nora had made was even better than she prayed for. Kitty wasn't one to ask for help and it

usually took her breaking down into tears for her to do so. This seemed easier and more right. She

wasn't sure how it was going to work out, but she knew it would. He mother was one of the most

honest, trustworthy, loving mother's in the world; or at least Southern California. Tears streamed down

her face without knowledge. She wiped them from her face once she recognized them. By this time

Nora had wrapped her arms around Kitty's shoulders like Justin had done earlier and allowed herself to

cry with Kitty. They were tears of joy and understanding. It was that special bond between mother and

daughter. Kitty couldn't help but to laugh at her over-emotional moment. She released her hold from

her mother and picked up Evan.

"Robert gets you on Sundays." Kitty stared into Evan's eyes and Nora smiled.


End file.
